"Ooh, I've never been inducted before," giggled Barbara Windsor towards the end of a painful yet fabulous hour in which celebrity friends (she has many) queued up to pay homage to "the nation's favourite bubbly blonde". For Barbara Windsor (real mates call her "Bar", by the way) is the first star to enter the BBC Hall Of Fame (Saturday BBC1), once a modest corridor beneath Broadcasting House, now part of the dreaded BBC Experience.
You always know you're onto a Saturday night winner when the opening credits feature that sparkly special effect scintillating across the screen. And this was no disappointment. A hybrid of This Is Your Life and An Audience With..., BBC Hall Of Fame cherry-picked through the subject's illustrious career and avoided any personal stuff. Dale Winton was our rather breathless host, and next to Miss Windsor he seemed unusually subdued. There was no point in competing, really, for camper than "Bar" they do not get. The screens drew back and there she was, beaming in a heliotrope gown, her cheekbones and poitrine awash with glitter. The smile didn't leave her face all evening, prompting worries that she'd undergone the same surgical procedure that left Marlene Dietrich incapable of doing anything other than grinning in her later years - but a few clips from EastEnders was enough to reassure us that "Bar" does the whole gamut.
Well might she smile: the testimonials from her peers were heartfelt, if forced, and the collective warmth finally won out over the cheesiness of the proceedings. This is saying something, when one of the featured numbers was an updated rendition of early Windsor hit Fings Ain't Wot They Used T'Be - performed by Keith Chegwin and Vanessa Feltz. Dressed in camouflage and combats, they delivered a new set of lyrics (by Esther Rantzen, no less) that really nailed this so-called modern world we live in. "Once we danced to Abba," sang Cheggers, "but now - whoo! - respect the rapper." "Are you male or female?" asked Feltz, "I just can't tell by email." It was that up-to-date, there was even a joke about nouvelle cuisine.
It wasn't all fromage, though. Windsor's mentor, Joan Littlewood, made a rare public appearance to cheer on her favourite protégée, and there was real emotion in the reunion. "You look beautiful," said the frail director. "I've tried," choked the star. Like the diamond she is, Windsor shone brightly despite the awfulness of the setting.
It was impossible not to well up a little during Last Of The Summer Wine (Sunday BBC1). Most long-running series break up the tedium with the occasional wedding special; appropriately, Last Of The Summer Wine fielded a funeral special. The beloved Bill Owen died halfway through making the series, leaving writer Roy Clarke with the unenviable task of handling the character's death. He, and the surviving cast, managed with magnificent aplomb, sending Compo to meet his maker in a coffin garnished with Wellington boots. Peter Sallis (Clegg) and Frank Thornton (Truly) made a downbeat double-act of mourning, while the chorus of comic women (Kathy Staff, Thora Hird, Jean Alexander) was swelled by the addition of Liz Fraser as Reggie, Compo's secret girlfriend. Of course there were lapses into mushiness (not least the egregious version of the theme tune, with lyrics promising to "salute his summer wine"), but the laughs were never far behind. Compo, no doubt, would have wanted it that way.
The second episode of Hearts And Bones (Sunday) introduced BBC1 audiences to the delights of the gay club and even dallied with the idea of extra-marital lesbianism. For a series that could so easily have been all about people needing personal space and learning to respect each other, this is shaping up to be very tasty indeed. Last night, the spotlight was on downtrodden Michael (Andrew Scarborough), whose recent failure with women may be linked to a brief homosexual experience at college. Despite his protests, he found himself getting off with a willing young man on the dancefloor and, seconds later, speeding homewards in a cab. It came to naught, and the potential boyfriend's loss was the horny (female) neighbour's gain. Meanwhile, evil ballbreaker Amanda (Sarah Parish) claimed to have undergone a lightning conversion to women, but it was only a ruse to get Emma (Dervla Kirwan) out of trouble with her husband. At this rate there'll be knickers flying at random by week four. Can't wait.